Seriously missing you! silly

"it would be a lie if i say i don't love her"

i would say that :/

Night shift

Hi, good midnight to dear readers. can i call you tonight and not making every night our last night? because i can't stand to not texting you. ee, but if i know something annoying about you it hurt me even painful. Its like you're holding a knife while talking to me. it only hurts when she start talking about that "guy". anything else i still can accept. continue... what am i talking about? ee, bha bha

What a mess

After reading my last post. WOW! ( ↓ ) i got a serious case of making people blurr reading.. i don't know how to write or talk to make people understand.. thats why i always lose in debating. hmm buruk ouh.. tidak pandai cakap bahasa melayu bha, bla bla bla... tidak apa la :DDDD

My brain says stop but my heart say the other way

Like whats been happening recently i regret plus i got no intention to hurt anyone. Because everytime i see your picture i cried. wishing you would do the same :/ keep talking to myslef "saya rindu charlene".. but why? maybe i don't notice what i've done.. didn't we used to say, "lets tell each other everything"← something like that.. bukan kau sja nanggis bha, sya cuba juga faham situasi kau, sama juga macam kau, kalau sya bnyk fikir then kepala sya boleh sakit.. thats why i cool down a lot. I asked myself, "why me?" sebab i'm sure and believed that i'm better than "him" or any other la.. just saying.. hish! enough talking about that la kn, i know we both hate to talk about that.. anyway, even if i don't want to text you, my heart still want to text.. when you asked me to call you last night, i ignore for few minutes, but then i realized i can't really sleep without hearing your voice. there's still a lot we planned but never got the chance to finish. remember? hmm okayy, thats from me, anything, i just wanted you back. the real us. the annoying person who always annoys you. but whatever it is, i support you, and thanks.

p/s : i tried my best to understand you, if you notice i even tried to make your decision for you. and now i'm ashamed of whats been going on between us. regards.

Now you're just somebody that i use to know

What's wrong with me? What do i miss? I will be missing the part where i made you part of me, i share everything from my side and you share yours. But now whats left if only hate and some love. I HATE THIS FEELING! Why do i always suffer this kind of situation? just like the others, they left me to get to their ex.. pity me huh..

i just hope that my heart can still handle my situation.. when i was lying on my bed last night i thought a lot till i cried. yeah! i cried, why the world must be cruel towards me? then i decided to text her back, letting her got to her ex is a very difficult thing to do. In fact letting go is my worst thing to do.

Still got a lot to share but i just can't, i gotta sleep now. after woke up early to wash the car, i took this time of opportunity to share. anything, just text me. BYE!

  

Don't want it ending

And so there it ended. A relationship that never came true.. i thought that both of us can make it through to the next step that is a real relationship. but i guess i put my hopes too high but never thought of anything like this.. Well, nobody know what am i talking about? anyway, read my last post then you know.. it hurts even more when i say some names here. ee teruk oh!

Film Strip

film strip.

i miss her so much!

Webcam Moment :D

Showing off my talent :D

this is call the mouth pulling trick. Lol. and btw, we both wore the same singlet :D

15

15

I remembered that i gave my 15 Ts to charlene before i left KK. Lets hope that she'll take care of it like the way shes taking care of herself :)

-i miss charlene-

Perhaps i need you

m a r v y n j a s o n

calin ._.

i miss you

I don't think he deserves you
I'm gonna come right out and say it
Even though I hardly know you at all
Thats what makes this so hard
'Cause I remember he hurt you
Told you he didn't have the time
To see you or even answer your calls
After breaking your heart

I know we barely even started
But I fully believe you could have been the one for me
And I miss what we might have had
Baby I miss what we could have done
I wrote a sad song about it and I'm still pretty bitter
but i'm happy if your happy, he won
I still miss you in the night
And I want you to know
If he leaves you cold in the city aching for a lover
Honey, you can always come home.
Yeahhh.
Ohh, do you ever stop to think
That he did it to you once
So he's probably gonna do it again
Oh do you defend
That he's an angel of virtue
He made a mistake and it cost him what he loved
But he knows what he's done
He's sorry for it now

Oh, he's never gonna leave you again
Well maybe your right, but i still believe
That you could have be the one for me
And i miss what we might have had
Honey, i miss what we could have done
I wrote a sad song about it and I'm still pretty bitter
But im happy if your happy, he won
I still miss you in the night
And i want you to know
If he leaves you cold in the city
Aching for a lover

Honey you can always come home
If he leaves you cold in the city
And you're begging for a lover
Honey you can always come home

But then again - -'

Another sweet and painful text came

"You should get a better better better girl"

and i was like.. what?? (Who's fuck right now)

Another Insta?

Instagram Kunun presents

Via instagram kunun

Cyril in action

Just sharing

Sinyum dulu bha

Kalau dulu saya kemaskini dengan menggunakan bahasa English tapi sekarang saya mahu mengemaskini dengan bahasa melayu dicampurkan dengan bahasa sabah yang terkenal. Bha, seperti yang saya bilang, saya  mau cerita pasal apa yang telah berlaku dikebelakangan ini..

Sebelum ini saya ada cerita tentang cerita saya bersama Charlene betul tidak? ya, itu adalah sebahagian daripadanya juga. Tentang kami ini, banyak juga perkara yang hampir menghalang perhubungan kami, tetapi dengan adanya sikap sabar dan yakin, setia serta sayang.. saya bersedia untuk meletakkan harapan saya kepada Charlene.

Seterusnya, saya ingin menceritakan mengenai pekerjaan saya sebagai receptionist d sebuah hotel di Tawau ini. Bulan ini adalah bulan terakhir saya bekerja selama 1 tahun 5 bulan dan 25 hari. Tujuan saya berhenti bukanlah atas sebab kerja, tetapi adalah sebab ingin meluaskan bakat dan juga pengalaman saya. Setelah menghantar notis berhenti selama 1 bulan, maka tarikh akhir saya adalah 31 Ogos 2012. Saya harap apa saja yang telah berlaku tolong dimaafkan. 

Selain itu, ingin dimaklumkan juga bahawa saya mungkin akan berpindah ke Kota Kinabalu pada bulan hadapan setelah selesai tugas saya d Promenade Hotel Tawau. Untuk bekerja atau belajar saya tidak pasti lagi, kerana ibubapa saya suruh saya belajar akan tetapi saya ingin menyambung untuk bekerja. tp tidak tau juga la kn.

apa pun saya akan terus berdoa untuk semua ini. sekian.

Red Roses by AJ Rafael

There you areWith your light brown hairApologize cuz all that I did was stareAnd no im not a creeper I swear that im a keeperIm just glad you noticed that I was there

I got your name but I didn't get your numberSo now im filled with all this regret and wonderWould you wanna see meAnd would you wanna kiss meIm getting way ahead of myselfBut I cant get you off of my mindNo I cant

I wish I woulda asked you outI wish I didn't have these doubts about myselfFor those 3 minutes that you stood in front of meI wish I hadn't walked awayI wish I had the guts to sayWould you be myI wish I woulda asked you to be my valentine

So I had one more chanceto gather my thoughts and just spit it outbut now I've missed the momentso now I'd never know ifyou'd say yes to the question I ask

so now Im herewithout you im crushed cuz I got these rosesthese red roses and god knows thatI'd have given them to you But I cant get you off my mind

Made in Kota Kinabalu

Hi, good day mate' LOL.. bha apa lagi, semangat la ne mau update pasal apa yang happening time saya d KK ne kn.. actually kn, i couldn't get into my blog account before, but then today i just get to open it back.Thank God :D

So, it begin. On the 27th July marc and I went to Kota Kinabalu or we like to call KK. We travel by car on the road. We supposed to depart from home at 5am but instead we left home at about 5.30am.. half an hour late, and then we stop by at the gas station to pump up VIVA. after that, we passed the hotel in about 6am. Our journey has begun. 6am on the clock : you do the math.

And oh, by the way, i haven't told about the reason of marc and i went to KK. Marc got his interview going on at somewhere only he knows where. and i on the other hand wanted to look for a job in KK, besides that, i wanted to meet Charlene, yeah, Charlene Roses. I wanted to make it a surprise, a very shocking surprise, huu..

Alright, where was i.. oh, so on our way to our destination, we talk lots of nonsense and sense things together, just to get ourselves out of sleepiness and tiredness. Well, skip skip skip skip skip the boring part and then i got bored and took out my camera i borrowed from my dad, snap few pictures

And here we are, Kundasang.. so we stop by here for a while to buy a stalk of rose for charlene, hee, pick the one i first saw. the red one. lucky rose i think. its like Charlene roses.. I wanted to stay longer at kundasang but we gotta go, so continued our journey.. oh we also stop by at Kinabalu Park, just to get some shots.. I took most of his picture, but i didn't get any, and then i rember the time when i was with cyril robert.. He and i took lots of pictures of jumping, modelling kunun ne, hahahaha.. those pictures i meant can be obtain on my last update blog.. thank you, hee :D anyway.. 

So the first place we been is at charlene's house. You know, to pick her up and bring her out, just to hang out.. okayy the story is like this, its so funny actually, so we now reach at IP, where my charlene stayed. So she doesn't know that i am in KK already.. so i called her and told her that i am in KK already, but she kept on saying "bh yeah la" isk, so marc dropped me down somewhere in giant area, so i walked there and here, up and down, to look for her house number, i even text her and ask her her house number, just to pretend.. at last i found her house, so i shouted out loud "CHARLENE!" and then fiona heard my scream and then opened the door for me, but then the first question i asked is not "where is charlene?" but instead i asked "Fiona pinjam tandas boleh?" LOL, so she brought me to the first floor toilet..

After i went out of the toilet, i knocked on charlene's room, but i'm too shy to talk.. because there's lot of other girls in that house, so i knocked knocked and knocked, finally, i called her and say "Charlene saya d luar ne , buka pintu" and then i can hear she screaming inside LOL, so cute, and then she believed its me, so she opened the door and let me in.. covering her face with something, lol, and then i hug her saying that i missed her so much.. ;D felt like wanna cry but i couldn't.

After that i took Marc into the house also, in the meantime charlene got ready bathed and ready to go. and oh, i met easter juga, hee :DD "Hi easter :D" saya bilang..

then kami dalam kereta la ne, on our way to pick joey up..

Charlene & I

The time we stared at something in our fingers, hm good times, good times..

So we both went to Centre Point or we liked to call CP! took this picture of charlene..

and then kunun charlene accompany me go look for job around KK hotels, Hyatt, Le' Meredien, Tang Dynasty.. err, much more that even i couldn't remember, hee, along the way, we snap some shots woo, ne naa alaa, kami naik bas sja bha dari sana sini, bukan macam kamu karita.. :P ne la ne.. kami jalan a thousand steps with her.. hee sya curi word tu dri charlene, ada tu dia post d twitter dia :D hee.. then at night kami ada dinner nasi ayam.. hee

To be continue...