vanice

 

i heart you.

i drew this at the back office at my work place, hee, so cute right. first i start with the girl's hair and it came with the body followed by the guy with flower and the rest of the scene. i admire the guy with flower presenting a rose for the girl in white on the bridge of somewhere awesome!

i called this picture "a picture with thousand story" i am willing to kneel in front of my girl and do anything for her. just for her i'd protect her. accompany her at her worst and be there like superman does. dance with her and the world.

single

"a single word that describe i am strong."

hear this

if you need me, i'll be there.

its been a while

how are you? how you been doing? i'm sorry for not contacting you this past few days, i am giving the time for you to miss me (if you want to) hmm.... do you think so? sometimes my heart feels like wanna text or to call you but i can't, i must control myself, lagipun you're someone else's right. not mine to take care of, but i still care you know, i love you so big that i leave you with yours..

p/s : i'm still waiting :/

what i remembered

last christmas i brought you to dance, and it was cool, i lend me my hand and you received openly. i felt happy that i finally did it, my heart opened to asked you to dance that day, hee :D i felt good, yes. ui, we got our picture taken right? woww, theres one of them looks like we're kissing. so shock with that, lol! its when we both whispered between our ear. hee, when the end of our dance, you asked me to do the twirl, and we did it, turned you around and catch you back. hee, i'm happy!

-herlyne taylor-

what we had

one of the seminar

found this on someone's album, i guess he tagged me in. hate the way i look back then, hahaha. so ugly. but its okay, this is before i'm deeply in love with her. God, turn back time? the time shes single, alone, and got nothing, let me be her superman. huuuuuu. i don't want just a moment, but forever is better. ee merepek sja, bha off!

what an idiot

frankly i say, you are an idiot if you leave your boyfriend for another guy. YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN A RELATIONSHIP IN THE FIRST PLACE! now you're just playing with boys, any girl would be lucky to have you, but you're the one who is not giving a chance to yourself to try and love a person and stick to it! i am so upset to see other couple  broke up and went to another girl just because she saw a new comers, a brand new guy. damn it!

please la dear girls, try to choose wisely and stand for your choice. make sure that what you're choose are your final decision. at least try ;)

what i hate is when a girl likes me and dump their bf just because of liking someone new. thats not the way to treat guys. we too have feeling and further more emotional than you know. think of it okay!

night shift

i guess i'm happy with my night shift, starting from the last two days till now and will be continuing till the end of january. like i've said before, i rather do night shift than morning and afternoon. why?? because i got a lot of better things to do at night, sleeepppp, haha! the best part of all is the chance to online all night. eat ice cream and lots of food. woww, super!

then i did saw cyril's blog, woww, and i was like, cool, awesomer than me, heeeeeee :D wanna ask him on how did he make his player, cool one.

facebook cover

i edited them myself, cool! glad to replaced it with a new one, i found it weird la with my kissing cover before, haha, bha, happy blogging ^^

no i am scared

i am scared that you'll ended up loving your whole heart to that guy. now, i don't have my chance of getting you. i should stand up for you. i'd cried up all night for you. i'd make your day all dayy..

-merepek-

woww!

hee, last night i went to eryka's house for this chinese new year celebration. so i drank... and drank.... and drank.... and drunk!!!!  and i suddenly miss reine, c eryka told me to call her, haha, so i called. this is some of our conversation...

Reine : hello

Me : hi

Reine : ya?

Me : siapa ne? (because she sound different)

Reine : sebeblum kau cakap sama saya, kau cakap dulu sama bf saya.

Me : oh okay :/

Reine : jap..

-Giving the phone to someone-

Bf : hello?

Me : hi, siapa ne?

Bf : bf c Reine la siapa lagi.

Me : Oh, Reine mana?

Bf : dia minum minum bha ne, kenapa? apa kau mau sama dia?

Me : err, nothing just.. (aarrrggghhh, just say it!) saya mau bagitau dia yang saya rindu dia.

Bf : oh, yeah ka.

Me : bha, okay la kamu take care ya bye

-end of conversation-

then i got moody that night, but in the morning, i was thinking to myself, "hmm, shes not mine, should i feel mad?"

can i can i?

can i take you as mine forever? can i be your private superman, or maybe you man. wish that everything would be on slow motion whenever i'm with you. go up to the highest mountain and just embrace you with all my breath. all i can think of is your breath next to my ear again, i wish. 

for this eternal life puts us separate, i still fight for love. its getting cold outside without you here beside me. only a memories cools me down. if they can love a thousand year then i too can love you for-e-vaa..

hee, suka suka sja

meant to be?

oh tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.. how i wish you know what you meant for me, should have told you from the start uh? too bad i'm late. but i believe that i'm not that late, yeah i still have chance. and for the record, you are my longest and biggest crush i had. if i had not love you from the start, i'd have leave you by now, but then, i thought, why should i leave? i love her with all my heart, my love and my soul.

p/s: rhetorical question - am i being sellfish for shasing someone else's boyfriend? 

-too much eh?-

got my bonus

yeyy, i got my insentive yesterday. and i spend it on my pants. hee, black pants, its useful for my work and other stuff.. hoho, i went to semporna yesterday accompanied my friend sending few guest to the dragon inn. i enjoy the trip, got to see the market, the hotels, the ocean, and took out money from BSN SEMPORNA. hee

maybe

maybe i was too harsh on you. yeah you. i don't expect people to read 'em so its my right yeah to post all about whats been going on. names are no secret.. i was really shock that you could do this to me, i trusted you, but then this is what i get c:

a big smile la for you, well done.

the moment i remember the most.

it was 11 january 2012, wednesday. we were out for movies and watched Alvin & the Chipmunks. during the movie, my comment is, hmm okay, funny, hilarious, fun, fantastic, i felt good because i get to hang out with reine the whole night. oh yeah, i forgot to mention who was joining us for the movie. it was me, cyril, reine, ivy, ryan, eryka.. that is before the club and stuff..

It was great, i was hoping to go back after the movie because i was planing not to drink and got drunk that night. but then, i was tempted by them, congrats. so we went to karaoke at Deluxe. it was my first time to be thee, starting that time, my money stop right there, its their time to spent me. hee. anyway i don't have any left. everybody was like dancing and having fun, me myself felt the awesomeness night.

after singging we went to barcode at fajar. we spent less time there, since it was late.. and their parents may be looking for them. so what happened inside the club really shock me. reine and i were like dancing like chocolate heavens! i felt it like no girl have ever given to me, only i know how i felt that night, in my mind i don't even have the thoughts of the dirty one or the bad one for her, all i can think of is for there to be safe and be guided all the time. everytime i saw her dancing with other guys, i pull her to me where i know shes safe, but i'm scared that she'd slapped me or just shouted at me.. but then nothing happened, i felt relief.

i still remember when reine bit my ear my left ear, i shouted out loud of pain and shock. i don't blame her for that, i know that she couldn't control herself, thats why i took care of her. i love you, reine.

for me this is an opportunity for me to be with her and a chance to be her best. to prove to her that i'm capable of taking care of her. i don't care how she look like, how she dress, or even what shes feeling, the only thing that i'm concern is for her.. she like my pillow of heavens. i wanted to hold her as shes save in my arms, i wanted to kiss her forehead to make sure that shes fine, i wanted to hug her from behind just to protect her.

getting back to my story, don't worry, it won't take long, when its time for us to get back.. we stayed outside for a while.. then something happened. between the both of us. a memory that only me knows. until now, i am still in shock.

all of this feelings

you can't judge me with every language you have.

clubbin'

naa, i'm starting to become a bad person sudah. Started to go to clubs. but i don't think that bad. yes, i stand strong for my statement! only my parents disagree of me drinking and practice all this stuff. i know i'm not supposed to do it at early age, but i'm growing and i know whats best for myself, i have to learn early from now on, i have to be ready and prepare to this kind of stuff.

the funniest thing that ever happened to me.

a fake girl who was into me.

have you ever been pranked hard? yes i did. shes a very nice person, yes i admit it, she was a great person i know. she had this genius game that she played. after knowing her, then came a girl with good looking person, i was attracted for her at first, but i was thinking i don't really know her that well.. but what the crap.. i fell for her, just to forget my crush because i felt like im never gonna get her so i look for other girl that loves me.

melissa henry was a very cute person i know, i thought that she'd be my girl in the next thousand. hee, i was very happy with the late night talk. (hey, i did talk about her on my last blog)

CHECK THAT OUT.

last christmas, i planned on meeting her for the first time, but then it turns out to be the opposite. we didn't get to meet. what a sad one. but on my last day at kk, that is 30th celynn claire accompanied me during the whole day. met lucyle cecil and walk with her ^^

then when i arrived at tawau everything seems something was wrong. all of the sudden everything went wrong, the melissa henry i know started to sound weird to me. i opened my eyes as soon as all the doubts and weird stuff going on. 

the moment of truth came, okay i was chatting with melissa henry and i was happy to know that she fake her profile. she then admit that she's my "friend". i unfriend her and laugh in silent.

the end. (the ending never dies)

whats been going on this early year.

i was quite shock to whats been going on this twenty twelve. the beginning was like heaven and hell raining simultaneously. i've been a bad person each day.. most of them because of the situation and my fault i guess.

from the last three days, i've been sleeping at reine's home sweet home for two nights. and i went home yesterday. (not because i wanted to, but because of time). after work at 11pm i went there to just have fun with their cousins from KL. there were yani and benji mom and dad. i have fun the first day and also the second day, but the third day was like, more fun! to be surprised, i drove all the way to batu3 from the hotel, woww! that was a very stupid and awesome at the same time.

their parents is okay with me staying there i guess. vomited on the second day.(was very embarrassed)

the feeling during that time is happy, sad, mad, jealousy, envy, shock, excited, kogutan(haha), but the most feeling i felt is love. yeah, i love all of you.so sorry for those who got hurt because of me, i just have the same problem like you and not in a good mood. 

what happened is a slap for all of us.

one of my best night.

before the night begin, let me tell you the story from the start. i was in the morning shift and it was a very busy work for me, yeah la for me, but that work is well okay, just okay. putih didn't turn up for work today because of her sickness, poor her, God bless her okay ^^ continue, actually i came 2 minutes late to work! yeah and you know what, just because of marc alvin la tu my name kena tulis at logbook! hahaha, well done!

okay then after work, i am supposed to join the staff practice for this coming event. but unfortunately, i cancel them and went to eastern plaza instead, after that i saw this pretty red roses at the eastern basement. i was starring at it for quite long, intended on buying them for reine, the one i like, yeah, still :/ isn't it weird that i am still in love with her, a really deep one. frankly, i almost felt for another girl because i am trying to forget her. so sad story really.. did met this girl, c sheera tu bha.. naa, she thought that im just all into sex and stuff that way.. so, okay, i respect her opinion and leave her freely..

what happened shall i leave behind, what i did must be kept. but frankly, i love that part, yeah, you know it.. no jokes about it, what i've said before maybe not suitable for me to say but im just joking, i won't dare to do so..

moving on.. i bought a white rose and brought them to reine's house cyril accompanied me there ^^.. met ivy and ryan and rex and ricky, their sibling, together with their parents. yeah, mummy lucy and oh gosh forgot their dad's name, sorry ^^

okay then when i arrived there, i was thinking we'll be there for just half and hour, but it turned out to be a whole lot of hours.. i am glad that i can spent time with the one i love, am not sure though if she still know that i seriously in live with her.. anyhow, when i arrived there,, came in and shake their hands, hee.. we're just sitting for a while, then reine brought me out to their "park" where they used to hang out usually.. hee, her lil brother followed us and bothering us all the way, hee, but it kinda sweet bha she told me about her past there, and i listen.

we went back to the house, there... we start a karaoke, which was fun for me, hee, sang tanak kampung too ^^ but i noticed my voice sounded like UGLY again, lol.

bha it was 7.30pm and we were eating, before eating, cyril gave this speech.. and gave the prayer to me, okay - - and i was like passing it around, haha. but then reine took over, and prayed. it sounded like a prayer at first, but at last, we laugh and i was like holding it, haha.. bha then we ate.. after eaten, i personally ask their parents for permission if we that is cyril and i can bring their children out to hang out for movies.

there were we, at the movies, plannig to watch alvin and the chipmunks. hee.. the movie was good and funny, i loved it. plus i got to watched it with my love one, wish that she'd thought of it the similar way. after the movie, we continued at deluxe, a place where singers spent most of their time. hee, we sang and dance, woww! it was great. next barcode.. my ear was bitten by someone that night, cool, i shouted out loud oh, i was shocked and wasn't ready at all. but it was awesome! reine and i dance, and i took care of her, yeah definately shes drunk.. i know it.. she start acting weird last night. frankly, i love her too much that i can't play with her, i love her that much that i can't take advantage of her.. she's like my one, my only one, so i have to take a very good care for her, not to play her.. i respect her..  

bha, then.. something happened that night, it was all going crazy, and i had my fun, i wasn't drunk because i know i have to take care of reine.. i have the responsibility for her and others. thank God nothing bad was in our way.. but then i was shocked to see their parent were there 3am in the morning to survey around and finally found us, outside the barcode. huu.. 

anyway, smile ;D